I walked into the house from work, let the door slam shut behind me, and literally fell onto the couch in exhaustion. I was physically and emotionally tired from the events of the day and the week, for that matter. I struggled to name exactly what it was that was causing me to feel so much stress and anxiety. I knew something just wasn’t quite right, but I couldn’t give it a name. I couldn’t point to one single event that had happened that caused it. If felt like life was spinning endlessly out of control and although things really weren’t that bad, they were all happening so fast. Every time I thought I could get ahead, another thing popped up and the pressure built inside until I found myself wanting to give it all up. I needed a reset.
I know I am not the first person to ever feel this way. Mamas experience this when their babies are little. A new child, as wonderful of a gift as they are, often sends our world into overdrive. As they grow up, the activities increase and the time and energy required to keep up with it all can be very, very overwhelming. As a single twenty-something, my life is often like that. I feel sometimes like I’m chasing a greased pig…just as I think I’ve caught up, all order and peace slips right out of my hands. Some of it is attributed to my own doing and other things that I can’t control.
I laid down a few months ago in a quiet, dark room and realized that I wasn’t all that tired, and so I did something I never, and I mean never do. I opened YouTube. YouTube is a consultant for me. I go there to find something or learn something, not to mindlessly watch videos. But this night was different. One search led to another and before I knew it, I had landed on a video that completely captured my focus and the next 45 minutes of my attention. Here it is. I can’t even tell you how or why I found it and decided to listen other than it was certainly God.
Now. I know you’re thinking….”45 minutes! I don’t have that kind of time!” I’d ask you to make it. Carve out some white space in your day today, tomorrow, one day this week, save this post if you need to, but watch it.
Jill says something so profound. (Well, she says many profound things, but for the sake of the post we’ll look at one.)
“You go where you’re sent and you stay where you’re put and you give what you’ve got until you’re done.” – Jill Briscoe
Yes, Jill. (Go, God!) It hit me. I might feel tired and worn out and useless to the Kingdom of God at times, but He has me here for a purpose. He sent me here. I need to stay put. I have to give what I’ve got until I’m done. All. The. Way. Home, Kindall. All. The. Way. Home. (Insert your name there if you need to.)
Friends, I’m not done. I don’t believe you’re done, either. Where has God put you? What has He given you to do there? Why do we try to run away when the going gets tough and we feel like we’ve reached the end of ourselves? For, that’s exactly where God begins.
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