“I can’t continue to live like this,” I finally told myself.
It was Autumn. School was back in full swing, piano lessons had started again and my days were feeling less and less fulfilling.
“It shouldn’t be like this,” I kept reminding myself. “It just shouldn’t feel like this.”
What began as a way to touch lives and make a difference was quickly turning into something I never wanted it to be….and I knew it. I knew that if I didn’t take some steps to clear a little space in my day, then I’d find myself lost in the deep, deep world of work and worn-out wishes constantly searching for ways to somehow, someway be a little less consumed. My time, my hopes and dreams, all of that was taken up by a much too crowded “to-do” list and it ultimately left me feeling like there was only time to do and work and never any time to be and give in ways that I truly wanted to be and give. I began to see that while God allows doors of opportunity to open to us, He also allows doors to close at the right time.
I began to see that while God allows doors of opportunity to open to us, He also allows doors to close at the right time.
I struggled with God on several occasions; especially the times I could sense Him urging me to give some things up and make some room to grow. I was overbooked and becoming increasingly overwhelmed, yet I was comfortable being caught up in the steady pace of the life I’d created. For years, this is all I’d known, teach school, teach piano. Day in and day out. And honestly, as fulfilling as that may sound to some, I knew that the door was closing and I needed to step through it with unbridled faith before it was too late.
So I did. I walked away from requiring myself to keep a busy schedule. I laid down the pen and paper and began learning to listen to God not only tell me when to walk through doors that were opening, but also when to walk forward and let other doors close behind me.
Life became fulfilling when I learned to do less with more focus.
Today, I’m excited about what the future holds. Through all of this I’ve learned that it is A-okay doing less and living more. I still teach my 6th graders and my afternoons are still somewhat busy, but they’re busy in a really good way. I’m able to write and pursue some dreams. Who knows, maybe I’ll write a book someday! I’m able to share meals with family and friends. I’m able to sit on the front porch in the evening and watch the sky grow dark and listen to the purr of passing cars. It’s the little things.
I’m not sure where you’ll find yourself reading this. Maybe you’re longing for more…maybe less. Maybe you’re like me and looking for God’s next step for you. I knew I’d never find it if I didn’t clear some space and time to listen and live it out. As much as I pray for God to open the next door, I find that praying He’ll close the doors that need to be closed is just as important.
Photo courtesy of smallfryblog.com