The past year of my life has been spent reading ministry related textbooks and writing long papers for graduate school. I had not realized the impact going back to school actually had on my life until I found myself sitting on the couch Saturday staring at the walls and wondering what to do. For the past year, my weekends consisted of homework. From Friday afternoon until Sunday night at around midnight, you’d find me locked away in the quietest spot I could find in the house reading and typing. Other than appearing for church on Sunday, I was hidden to the world (so it seemed). This is literally the first weekend I’ve been homework/ stress free in over a year. I can’t believe it! I laughed as a teacher friend said to me last week, “Enjoy this last weekend of freedom before school starts back!” In my mind I thought, “Last weekend???? This will be the FIRST weekend of freedom I’ve had in a year!!!!” The truth is- I had been waiting for this very moment for what seems like forever and now that it’s here- I’m not sure what to do with it!
I have found that much of my walk with Christ is that way. I pray and prepare for the Lord to work in my life and for His will to be done, and when the time comes that my prayers are actually answered or I see where the Lord has worked on my behalf I’m not sure what to do next! Ironic. I know. Why is it that we (and I say “we” assuming that you’ve found yourself in a similar circumstance) momentarily forget to continue moving forward when God moves? It is the fear of what’s next? Or, the uncertainty of where He may lead? These are questions I’m grappling with in my own life. I know it has only been a week since I closed the door at Liberty University and started adjusting to life outside of grad school again. But what an adjustment it will be! During my time at Liberty, the Lord really opened my eyes to opportunities I could have to serve- especially internationally. I am excited about this new chance to pour myself into the ministry, but I’m not sure where to get started. I certainly don’t want to be stuck on “GO!” So, for now, I’m enjoying the moments I have to sit in the quiet and listen for God to speak and order my steps. I feel like He’s given me a direction for this new season and I am looking forward to pursuing it, but only He knows when the time is right. I’m learning to be thankful for these
rare chances to sit still and just listen. It’s the best place to be in when we’re looking for some direction! While I’m waiting, I’m holding on to Psalms 32:8 which says, “I will instruct you and show you the way to go; with My eye on you, I will give counsel.”
Enjoying the moment,